New Year – A popular time of reflection, and (something I have always found a necessary correlate for useful reflection) truth-telling. Also known as coming clean, not fooling yourself (or anyone else), out with the out and in with the new, can’t start with a clean slate until you clean it, and in the nautical world – swabbing the decks . ‘Tis the season, so here goes.
Loyal readers may recall that I made a wonderful, inspiring and challenging goal a few months ago – to lose 15 lbs before my birthday (early January).
Now, if you have ever made a promise or goal that you did not keep, and especially if you gave it a deadline, and especially if you have told other people about it, and particularly if you have been stupid courageous enough to put it all out there on the Internet and invite others to follow your every move, then you have probably experienced first hand that the longer that promise or goal goes unfulfilled, the weight of the un-kept promise gets heavier and heavier as the fateful date approaches. It’s as though the ‘elephant in the room’ doubles in size each passing day, until it takes a good deal of your expendable energy to continue to ignore it.
Well, here is the naked, unadorned and ugly truth (guess I’ll start with the truth-telling, and then move on to the reflection): that did NOT happen, IS not happening, doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in HELL of happening. Not even close.
That little diatribe is my wordy way of shedding the weight of the elephant of the undone, even if I haven’t shed the 15 pounds of fat.
Whew! Ok, now that’s done. Deep cleansing breath. Boy do I feel better. Embarrassed? Certainly. Disappointed? Of course. Still, better.
Don’t get the wrong idea. In spite of the the angst, I have been maintaining my initial fat-loss very well. I have been eating healthy for the most part, and continuing to keep exercise as a part of my daily routine. As a bonus, I haven’t felt deprived, I get way more protein and leafy-greens that I ever did, rarely crave the starchy whites that used to be such a temptation, and my wine intake has decreased in quantity and improved in quality : ) . These are all worthy and laudable accomplishments. The only problem is – I have been maintaining while SAYING I wanted to be losing.
There’s a wise saying that goes something like: “Suffering only happens when what you say you want doesn’t match what you are doing.” I can attest to that. I’ve been living it. Instead of enjoying the success of maintaining, I’ve been suffering over the not-losing. Ugh. That ends today.
Having said all that, I can now get on with useful reflection. Check back tomorrow for a post on the lessons I’ve learned, and my plan for implementing those lessons in the next part of the journey.
Happy New Year!
Overheard: “Just have your words match your action, or your action match your words. I don’t care which.”
I’ll leave you with a question: Where have you been creating angst by not matching your words and action?
Photo by Danilo Rizzuti